'Twas 15 nights before Christmas at Centre Square Mall, and nothing was stirring – nothing at all.
The Christmas tree stood in the main thoroughfare, in hopes that one day someone might yet shop there.
Security nestled all snug in their beds while visions of proper malls danced in their heads.
Cabin Radio, one block away in the warm, was sheltering snug from YK's wintry storm.
When over on Facebook arose such a clatter, we sprang to our keyboards to ponder the matter.
A person reported the mall tree was gone! In the photo, no tree – clearly something was wrong.
Away to the mall cops we flew like a flash, who confirmed the tree had been filched with panache.
To Centre Square Mall's far-off owners we went, who for a change chose to provide no comment.
Where the tree is now? We can't say we know. One comment simply read: "Now that's ghetto."
With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.
Reporting provided by Emelie Peacock, who's only just now getting over her tree shock.