Yellowknife named ‘one of Canada’s most romantic cities’

As you went about your business in Yellowknife recently, did you sense that unmistakable stirring in your loins?

Even if you didn’t, Amazon sure did. The retail giant this week decided to name Yellowknife among the top three most romantic cities in Canada.

Fort McMurray took first place, so let’s not ask too many questions about the methodology and just bask in Yellowknife’s newly recognized sex appeal.

Toronto came second. So to speak.

Amazon Canada said it ranked cities according to 2019 sales of romance novels, romantic comedies, relationship books, jewellery, and “sexual wellness products.”

Per-capita sales for Yellowknife placed the city third on the list and allowed Amazon to declare the NWT’s capital a romance hotspot.

Nobody from Amazon Canada was available for comment as we couldn’t bring ourselves to ask.

Here are the remaining cities in the top 20, starting with fourth place. If you know anyone in these cities, feel free to triumphantly sext them: Bonnyville, North York, Ottawa, Grande Prairie, Burlington, Kelowna, Victoria, Whitehorse, Calgary, Quesnel, Cranbrook, Edmonton, Pembroke, Campbell River, Prince George, Kingston, and Revelstoke.

Cities outside the top 20 are barren wastelands in which residents must maintain a minimum three-feet distance at all times, with no heavy petting.